I realise it has been quite some time

I was consistently weighing in at 73-75kg, and you know what, I cared but I didn't. I cared but I certainly did not care enough to do anything about it. So this is why the exam period has been a blessing. I do not have scheduled meal times, I thus do not eat as frequently and I just weighed in at 71kg.

I also saw the lung guy (and by guy I mean specialist) (and by specialist I mean pulmonologist). He was quite cool for a doctor. Unfortunately I now have to run another exercise stress test, except this time it's not running I'm cycling and I have to have an x-ray of my lungs. the x-ray is a piece of cake, but the exercise stress test, I'm not looking forward to that. I don't know which outcome I want, to be honest. But we shall wait and see, next Thursday's the day.

Exams have been a pretty relaxed couple of weeks. I have spent more time out of school than I have in and it's been pretty good. Plenty of sleeping, reading and no stress. So overall I think my mood has balanced out. I was genuinely okay with everything. Exam alleviated the school based stress. Everyone tried to tell me that exams were stressing me out and that was definitely not the case. I have never stressed about something so trivial and I never will.

The thing is though, with all this lung business, that all my acne is coming back, now that it's not being regulated by the meds I love to hate. I understand that I could have potentially killed myself by taking them, but I feel like I'm dying anyway by not taking them. It's killing me to see a new one every morning, which, just three weeks ago did not exist. They told me a long  time ago, that this would have relented well and truly by now. But they lied. Surprise, surprise.

The other thing is that Blake turned up, out of the blue, on MSN last night. And as much as I was glad I also got thrown way off balance. I think I had finally accepted that that was it and then he just appears out of nowhere and I just don't know now.

It's really not okay, any of it.

I even re-aggravated that frustrating left ACL of mine. And just so it could show me how pissed off it is with me, it gave out this morning when I got out of bed and yep, I face planted.

- Sky