Forgot to add a title... Still have nothing

Confession #11 I feel better after every cut.

Sad truth.

I'm so tired and so looking forward to the holidays, not that it will be much a holiday with work and all that.

I'm such a terrible blogger, it's taken me an hour to write this much. Got sidetracked by this (very funny, I recommend reading)

But really, because my attention span is SHIT and I really want to write this I'm going to dot point it [step back everyone this could get crazy]


- Saw the lung man
- Ran the second EST complete with ECG
- Was breathing like a smoker and my ECG indicated something nasty
- Have to wait til 26th July to hear verdict
- Meanwhile have face full of acne from having no drugs
- Mum's trying to veto netball
- Knee is fucked
- Face planted twice
- Passed exams
- Passed Texts and Traditions 3
- Had a mental breakdown
- Cut waaaaaaay too deep
- Cut again anyway
- Felt better
- Feel like shit again anyway
- Probably do it again
- Have an infection that isn't an infection

So, now that I've bulleted it and Facebook is "temporarily" unavailable I may have to discuss my inner workings in regards to a few of the more serious issues on my list: The lung man: aka the Pulmonologist

So I did his exercise stress test (EST) and echo cardiogram (ECG) and I've realised that I really am far too unfit and happily for me, not through any fault of my own. So, my lungs and/or heart is/are not very happy. And the fact that all this came up after I finished the meds... not so good, I don't think. But you know, I don't really know that because I'm not a doctor which makes waiting until July 26th a real pain in the arse. Why? Because now I know nothing and it's all really just very uncertain. And I hate not knowing. I'm going to be kind of annoying if I land myself back in the cardio's office, because you know, I just want to be done with it all and just be perfectly normal, happy and healthy.

Haha.

Normal.

Happy.

Healthy.

Three things which I will never be. Which is unfortunate, I think. Maybe not for the happy people because I seem to have stolen all their bad times from them... Lucky me. Lucky, lucky me.

So, I'm perfectly addicted to cutting. Perfectly unaddicted to life. I think that about sums up the point of this post.

- Sky