Life and death are balanced on the edge of a razor

I'm so tired.

I am just so tired.

My body literally aches, and I can't tell whether it's exhaustion or just wear and tear.

Perhaps its both.

I've reached this point where I just don't know what I'm fighting for. A long, long, long time ago I was promised a light at the end of the tunnel. Years and years and years later, I don't see it. I just don't see it. It is so hard to force myself through each day knowing, yes knowing, that it won't get better. That I won't be healthy, that it will hurt to walk, that I will go to the doctors, that I won't ever be good enough, that I will never be happy.

So what am I fighting for?

Am I fighting to always be sick? To always be in pain? To never be good enough?

I don't understand why any of this is.

This is much more than battling with school, this is so much more. This is me unable to see the why in what I am doing, out of routine, each day.

I have run out of things to throw at life. I have run out of things to say.

There is no comfort for this.

- Sky