I've had a pretty rough few weeks. I'm all fun and games on the surface but I've actually run myself into the ground and was just envisioning myself blowing up school.
Ain't that a pleasant image!
On the surface, I'm getting along okay. A few cracks here and there. Otherwise happy, involved, on top of things. On the surface. If I could be the person the world sees on the surface I would be the perfect person. Going great guns at school, on top of the work, managing work and a social life, friends, family. Everything. But I am detached.
I bawled my eyes out no less than twice last week. Evidently my own physical exhaustion makes it difficult to stay in control. This does not sit well with me. Especially given the chinks were exposed in public - first at school and then at work. I can't hide behind tiredness forever - though I will try. Why? Because it's half the truth. Between school and work I don't sleep much. I can't cut school due to my mother and for my own wellbeing I won't cut work. Both are, essential. Which is unfortunate I guess.
I don't know what to do. I can accept that I need some serious help, but am indecisive about taking the next step.
Just keep trying to get on I guess. Wish us luck.
- Sky
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